National Poetry Day in the UK

The Now

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I’m having a transition

I don’t feel quite right

It’s not bad

It’s just…

The full extent is not yet in sight

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I’ve tried to put it into words

But they only show the edge

The words are right

The truth is there

But I can’t see past the ledge

So

What I think is happening

Is only half the tale

Or less maybe –

I just don’t know how deep the scale

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I think I’ve passed another milestone

Or I can feel it by the way

I yearn to peek

And see what’s what

But a day still lasts a day

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I cannot rush to find out

I can only live each day

The Now

That’s when I like to be

No peering in the grey

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This trembling within myself

Has not yet reached my brain

The body knows

But I do not

And

I must not entertain

Speculations

That might not help

They are not my realm

The Now is home

The Now is mine

And I am at the Helm

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x

Poem of the sunshine heart

I was doing something else on the laptop when some words started linking together in my head, so I opened up a blank page and this is what happened… 🙂

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Today my body doesn’t like me but I’m not surprised
There’s lows with this condition but I know there will be highs
I did too much yesterday and that was down to me
I went to class *and* hospital because I like Tai Chi

So today I will be resting lots with laptop and no frown
My ‘pacing’ will be well controlled to calm my system down
My ANS will slowly calm, my pain will be less shouty
It’s hard to work around this stuff, but I’m feeling mighty

We may be pushed to limits but we’ve found out who we are
The inner oomph is revving and it’s gonna take me far
I won’t quit, I won’t give up, life is to be lived
I’ll grab the opportunities so I don’t end up miffed

My old lady years are far away but I’m already creaky
I pace myself, manage pain, and basically be sneaky
I may be quite severely ill, but that’s not stopping me
I’ll live my life and love the world, be all that I can be

In every day there’s shiny things to make me laugh and smile
The smallest things are worth so much I always pause awhile
To grab that special moment, make it last, to make a note
A shaft of sunlight, cup of tea, a dancing lit dust mote

There’s more to life than who I was, than what I used to see
Life progresses and we grow, the beauty is all free

I started believing in myself,
.                                           opened mind and heart
And all the love was out there, waiting.
.                                                            The ‘end’ was but a start

x

Elle and the Auto Gnome, sunlight through autumn branches

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Cluster migraine, a moment of painy poetry!

Migraine

Guilty as charged!
But as a cluster migraine goes oooon and oooon for days (and sometimes weeks) and being online for a while is actually a helpful distraction during the lesser-uber-pain periods.

In fact I spent some of my lesser-migraine time writing this….!….

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Cluster migraines are not my friend,

I’d like this one to reach an end.

Swollen neck and throbbing brain,

Battling over and over again.

Hot wheat thingy round my neck,

Will ease it off for just a sec’.

Painkillers don’t help enough,

Anti-inflammatories, combi’ stuff.

Next will be the cooling patch,

Stuck to my head, (I’m such a catch!)

When I can’t stand sound,

It’s getting worse,

When I can’t stand light,

I inwardly curse!

Off to bed to lie in the darkness,

Another attempt to boot this daftness.

Stoopid head giving me hassle,

I want to be up, all tappity dazzle.

Nope, cluster migraine, doing its worst,

Dastardly bugger, but not my first,

I’ve had these for years now, on and off,

If it’d just go away I would happily scoff,

At its absence and at my winning through,

But it’s not gone yet, sooo totally poo!

Rhyming through the pain,

Total weirdo.

I should be in bed,

But I’m still here though!

Maaaaan, I’m tired of migraine days,

Too many in a row,

I’d like to kick it into touch,

The blasted so-and-so.

Ah well, kettle on and make some tea,

Gotta move, it’s physio time for me….!

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Migraine 2

That’s science, that is!

x

Pictures sourced here.

Housewifey organisational dilemma (where’s my birthdays book?)!

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I cannot find my ‘birthdays book’

No matter how often I look

Searching high and searching low

In every cranny, every nook.

Still going back to the place

Under the stairs, the book-shaped space.

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I’ve had that book since in my teens

It’s hard to say how much it means

Cat paintings on each other page

The people met at every age

Now I want to note down dates

Of the special days of my new mates

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I’m jotting dates on tea-stained paper

Which may seem a random caper

But I think –

“It’s got to turn up soon

It can’t be far

It’s not immune

To being found

Ere the blue moon”

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“Or is it??”

..

Missing Birthdays Book

x

Acrostic kinda-poetry

Carefree Realists Purposefully Serene    –    yup, full of contradictions, just like CRPS!

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Elusively complex.

Like a jigsaw puzzle with the

Little corner pieces missing.

Every day is

Apt to present a

New confusion, a new

Dilemma

To test our mettle.

Holy macaroni, Batman!

Ever tried explaining

An alternate

Understanding

To

Others who are more ‘qualified’ than you?

Gah!

Not an easy journey.

Over the years, my

Me returns.

Empowered.

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Frank Herbert - We are torn and frayed but love remains

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x

Life and Death

Today’s theme for the November Challenge is one I may write about properly one day, but for now my level of symptomatic wooziness means that I can’t write for long. So today you’re getting a CRPS and Dys’ related poem, x
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Life and Death

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Older,

Wiser,

Weaker,

Stronger,

One day at a time.

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Finding strength through love,

A pathway through the minefield.

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Patient,

Writer,

Teacher,

Joker,

Rays of sunlight shine.

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Voices lost and present,

Sear and sing within my heart.

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Battle

Onwards,

Fading,

Waning,

I’m ‘me’ all the same.

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No shame in my sustaining,

Shining light throughout the fear.

.

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x

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An insomniac moment of poetry

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Sat downstairs awake once more,
Listening to the upstairs snore,
Restful in my sleeplessness,
Knowing he, at least, will wake refreshed, xx

Tomorrow is another day,
And through it I will make my way,
With outings of unusual type,
Then home to see my friend on Skype, xx

All is good despite the stealth,
Of worsening and scary health,
I live my life with joys I find,
You’re in my heart and in my mind, xx
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Those I love keep me going,
So you see, through this poem,..
My heart leads me through each day,
In the joy of love that lights my way, xx
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Good ole sofa and laptop combination!

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After writing this I wandered upstairs to bed to give the ‘sleep’ thing a go. Whilst I was lying there trying to convince my body to go into uber-relax mode I remembered that the lovely Carly had done the same thing, as she posted her own poem on here one night when she also could not sleep. (Carly’s poem is in the comments section on this link for you to read and it is beautifully positive).
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I write the occasional poem, but I don’t do it seriously, just for a bit of fun, or as an outlet. It’s a great way to get our emotions out. Sometimes we manage to say in a poem what we’d struggle to say otherwise. And the way a poem has an ending gives us a current summation point that we just don’t often get to experience in the middle of our ongoing lives. It breaks up the relentlessness into more manageable and simplified chunks. Sometimes it may even be easier to give our loved ones an insight into the personal experience of our conditions through poetry, it tends to cut to the chase and trim away all the extras.
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Why not try it yourself? Whether you are living with a condition or not, whether you’ve met me in the 3D world or online, whether you want to write a poem about deep and meaningful stuff or about the simple joys of tea and sunshine. The style, length etc can be whatever feels right, why not give it a whirl?
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And if you post your poems in the comments sections below I’ll collect them together and publish them in a post on this blog, accredited to the names you choose to give. I love the idea of a readers’ poetry post 😀
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Love to you all from me, x
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5 Haikus…..just because!

For a bit of fun!

Well, it’s Day 6 of the Health Activist Writers’ Challenge and boy, my brain is tired! Writing every day is certainly a challenge when you’re battling through the day with health conditions already! I enjoy the process of writing and creating, but I’m grateful for some less emotional-writing days. Today’s suggestion is a fun one, there’s a few more ones like this coming up. I couldn’t resist doing a bit of research into the topic, though. (Of course)! x

I’ve been delving (briefly) into the world of Haikus.

Haikus are a type of Japanese poetry that date back to the end of the nineteenth century. In the western world haikus are simply three lines that consist of 5 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 syllables, respectively. They don’t have to rhyme, and their simple format is intended to add something intangible to the experience of the poetry.

The Japanese language is so different to English that there is some argument that to attempt to achieve a similar effect the 5-7-5 syllable format should be reduced to a 3-5-3 format, which gives you some idea of how brief an entity they can be.

During a bout of insomnia I came up with the following daftness. (It was really good at getting my brain to switch off and let me sleep, too! Who needs to count sheep when you can count syllables?)!

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I was ‘normal’ once,

Eek! Dysautonomia,

Now unusual.

I started this blog,

To help make a difference,

But it helped me, too.

I love Magic Dude,

He makes me smile and chortle,

Worth his weight in tea.

Sunshine makes me feel

Like the burden lifts awhile,

The warmth eases pain.

I love to drink tea,

I’d drink it all the day through,

If my legs allowed.

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And speaking of tea….

x