I was there to witness the very start of the day… that bit of the new day that turns up right after midnight. With not much brain-time I have to study a bit, rest a few hours, study a bit, and so on, so it takes me ages using a paced-brain approach, but I get there eventually! I had lost three months to worsened Dysautonomia symptoms and CRPS pain flare after two days of tests in London last November so my planned and calmly paced timetable had gone out of the window. About 1am I figured I could leave the rest of the sorting out for after some sleep but the pain had soared so high in my legs that I was stifling a scream. I continued stifling that scream for a long while and eventually managed to crawl off to bed sometime after 3am. Not the best start to what needed to be a productive day!
This was my dissertation deadline day, and here’s how it went….
1. Breakfast, 1st physio’
2. Check conclusion and abstract/introduction
3. Pour boiling water over fingers whilst making a hot water bottle for legs pain, doh!
4. Re-write bits of conclusion and abstract for far longer than I should have
5. Repeatedly fail to find the number references for the anonymous participant quotes
6. Cup of tea
7. Finally find them (hurrah for noting numbers in my Research Journal!)
8. Try to re-read conclusion and abstract but find that my brain is not available
9. Faulty fight or flight response kicks in (ah, The Fear!)
10. No choice but to throw caution to the wind and print 4 copies of the dissertation (324 pages in total.. it takes a while!)
11. Spot a typo’ in the original survey! meh
12. Sign all 4 authorship statements (with 4 different looking signatures, um)
13. Take photo’s of the bombsite style living room!……
14. Use my 2nd physio to drive to a store where I can park right outside to get the dissertation copies bound
15. Whilst waiting for the binding to be done, I physio-wander round store in a surreal state talking randomly to employees
16. Drive home
17. Take photo’s as I parcel up the bound copies with all the additional paperwork
18. Hang around a bit to see if Magic Dude will get home in time to drive me but no such luck, so I steel myself to drive into the village to post the parcel off
19. Dissertation is in the post, hurrah! (Post Office lady keeps reading the address trying to figure out why I am smiling exhaustedly about something which is “important” and needs ‘proof of posting’ (It says ‘dissertation’ on the address label, and I wonder why she keeps expecting to find more info there!)
20. Walk back to car park (I don’t really know how I’m still functional at this point!) and suddenly I break out in a grin.
21. The couple who have just parked their car next to mine look a little concerned when the lady who has just thrown her hands in the air whilst gleefully telling the world “It’s gone” starts walking towards them! 😉
22. Drive home. Still no Magic Dude. Put the bins away despite the pain. Stupid thing to do but I don’t want him to have to sort everything out when he gets home. I know I’m in for a Flare Extraordinaire as it is.
23. Tidy bombsite up a bit.
24. Receive surprise celebratory gift of gateau from Magic Dude on his return 🙂
25. Realise that I never had any lunch
26. Accept fresh hot water bottle and a cup of tea from Magic Dude
27. Engage Sofa Slug mode
That was three days ago and I am still totally exhausted and beginning to flare even more. I hope I’ve managed to do enough to pass despite the health issues. Fingers crossed.
Now…. sleep, need more sleeeeep, and ohhhh the paaaaiiin! *grimace*
Whatever the official outcome, whether I pass or not, this counts as a win for attempting, enduring and (hopefully) surviving! Owieee and yet also hurrah!