Hang on, what am I thinking? After all, I am ….dahn-da-da-daaaaah…..Gnomes Bane…..!
My superpowers include (nearly) endless patience, powers of remaining upright using messages from my Tai-Chi-honed leg muscles (when my head tells me that I should be falling over), very high levels of pain tolerance, and an almost unshakeable determination to keep going no…matter…what….(gritted teeth)!
What? They’re not actually superpowers?
Okay, okay. Let me think. Er, we-eeell,…. I do have a mutant extra set of wisdom teeth! (Not all of which have yet completed their attempts to push their way through the other teeth that are sat right in their way). I don’t know what extra wisdom teeth would enable me to do if I was an X-Man, (er, X-Woman? X-Person?), though. I’m not currently aware of any super-wisdom effects. Although I am still fighting to think and write through bemusing brain fog, so…maybe?!
So, if I could have a ‘proper’ superhero power, what would I have? I can’t help but automatically opt for the self-healing one out of sheer necessity, really. But that’s so disappointing because it feels like I’ve had my superpower choice taken away from me. Everyone else would be wishing for an actual superpower and I would be wishing for something to enable me to function, which has the devastating (though arguable) side effect of also giving me life beyond all the people that I love. I don’t think that even the power of self-healing cuts the mustard in that case. Maybe all of us spoonies could wish ourselves well, and then spend our newly extended lives hanging out together and getting wise? (‘cept, of course, I’d have a headstart on that one, what with my mutant teeth and all)!
If I could have completely free rein, I think I’d go for telekinesis. That covers loads of superpowers in one. I wouldn’t just be able to move metal, or water, or rocks. I could manipulate any material….. Just think how handy that would be if I’ve locked myself out. I could just make the lock open. I could carry the shopping with ease. I could wash the dishes from a distance whilst I put my legs up to rest. Hell, I could float myself about between physio’s and save myself the legs pain. I could even float myself about whilst I’m horizontal so that I don’t have the near-faints! (I love the mental image that conjures up)!
No longer would I be flagged as a lone, disabled woman if I have to phone for car breakdown service. Wheel needs changing? No problem….(screws up face and points a claw-shaped hand in the right direction)….there…sorted. And off I trundle. Wait a minute….I wouldn’t neeeed a car!
Yep, telekinesis would be cool. I wouldn’t be ‘normal’ as such. But I could potter round doing normal things, albeit in very unusual ways. The locals would have to get used to me floating horizontally round the supermarket. But seeing as I could be so helpful to them, perhaps they wouldn’t mind too much! And if they’re all busy checking the saleable goods by looking through the packaging, being part crocodile, and bursting into flames, I don’t think anyone would notice me floating surreptitiously by with a little smile upon my face, anyway.
I’ll get the cape ironed. I like this idea!