What superpower would I choose?

Hang on, what am I thinking? After all, I am ….dahn-da-da-daaaaah…..Gnomes Bane…..!

My superpowers include (nearly) endless patience, powers of remaining upright using messages from my Tai-Chi-honed leg muscles (when my head tells me that I should be falling over), very high levels of pain tolerance, and an almost unshakeable determination to keep going no…matter…what….(gritted teeth)!

Gnomes Bane (chortle)

What? They’re not actually superpowers?

Okay, okay. Let me think. Er, we-eeell,…. I do have a mutant extra set of wisdom teeth! (Not all of which have yet completed their attempts to push their way through the other teeth that are sat right in their way). I don’t know what extra wisdom teeth would enable me to do if I was an X-Man, (er, X-Woman? X-Person?), though. I’m not currently aware of any super-wisdom effects. Although I am still fighting to think and write through bemusing brain fog, so…maybe?!

So, if I could have a ‘proper’ superhero power, what would I have? I can’t help but automatically opt for the self-healing one out of sheer necessity, really. But that’s so disappointing because it feels like I’ve had my superpower choice taken away from me. Everyone else would be wishing for an actual superpower and I would be wishing for something to enable me to function, which has the devastating (though arguable) side effect of also giving me life beyond all the people that I love. I don’t think that even the power of self-healing cuts the mustard in that case. Maybe all of us spoonies could wish ourselves well, and then spend our newly extended lives hanging out together and getting wise? (‘cept, of course, I’d have a headstart on that one, what with my mutant teeth and all)!

If I could have completely free rein, I think I’d go for telekinesis. That covers loads of superpowers in one. I wouldn’t just be able to move metal, or water, or rocks. I could manipulate any material….. Just think how handy that would be if I’ve locked myself out. I could just make the lock open. I could carry the shopping with ease. I could wash the dishes from a distance whilst I put my legs up to rest. Hell, I could float myself about between physio’s and save myself the legs pain. I could even float myself about whilst I’m horizontal so that I don’t have the near-faints! (I love the mental image that conjures up)!

No longer would I be flagged as a lone, disabled woman if I have to phone for car breakdown service. Wheel needs changing? No problem….(screws up face and points a claw-shaped hand in the right direction)….there…sorted. And off I trundle. Wait a minute….I wouldn’t neeeed a car!

Yep, telekinesis would be cool. I wouldn’t be ‘normal’ as such. But I could potter round doing normal things, albeit in very unusual ways. The locals would have to get used to me floating horizontally round the supermarket. But seeing as I could be so helpful to them, perhaps they wouldn’t mind too much! And if they’re all busy checking the saleable goods by looking through the packaging, being part crocodile, and bursting into flames, I don’t think anyone would notice me floating surreptitiously by with a little smile upon my face, anyway.

I’ll get the cape ironed. I like this idea!

x

Tick…Tick…Tick…Tick…SPOON!

Well I have a song stuck in my head at the moment. Not a song I’ve ever owned, but one I heard in the charts way back when. 80’s? 90’s? I don’t know. If I’d been asked to name Will Smith songs I don’t know that I could think of even one, (although I could probably sing the ‘Fresh Prince’ theme tune! hehe). But this one is in my head, and the words have changed because of what I was thinking of at the time!

So, what was I thinking of? Well, have you heard about the ‘Spoonies’? The Spoon theory is all over the internet these days. It was created by Christine Miserandino and it is essentially a great way to explain what it’s like to live with a condition that limits the amount of activity that you can do day-to-day.

It goes like this…

If you want to get an idea of what it’s like living with this condition, (in my case CRPS, but loads of conditions apply, Christine has Lupus), then here you go…..have a handful of spoons! Now…for each thing that you do in the day you lose one spoon. Once you’re out of spoons, then that’s it – you can’t do anything else. Not until you receive your new quota of spoons tomorrow.

It tends to initiate an ‘ah-ha’ moment in people once they are told that one spoon is not one whole activity, like getting up in the morning for example. In fact, we’d use a spoon to get up and washed, another to get dressed, and another to make and eat breakfast.

This aspect of the theory is what makes people start to realise why we have to plan our days so carefully. And why we often have to say no to doing nice things, because all our spoons usually get used up on just basic activities each day. If we ‘borrow’ a spoon from the next day we not only have one less spoon the next day, but our bodies may act up and give us more pain to contend with, as well. And if we want to do something nice and avoid the problems with borrowing spoons, then what do we not do today to free up the required spoon(s)? Not wash? Not eat? Tis a tricky little conundrum every day!

So it’s a jolly handy little explanation and I’m not surprised that it’s spread across the internet.

I’ve spent ages trying to explain to various peeps over the years about why I have to ‘pace’ my activity, and why it is that I can often appear to look as if I’m able-bodied during a physio’ but that once my physio’ time is up I then have to rest for several hours because I am experiencing large levels of pain. It’s even harder for people to make sense of what I’m saying because I, like many chronic pain sufferers, have become unbelievably good at hiding and disguising even really high pain levels. So much so that it has become an ingrained habit that I don’t even think about any more.

Chronic pain involves the inner workings of the body – damaged neurological signals and such like. So yeah, the Spoon Theory is waaaay easier for people to think about. It enables people to take on board the actual meaning, rather than get bogged down in complicated biological information.

So, thanks Christine. It’s a fab’ explanation, and I’m sure there are many people out there who are benefitting from this easy way to get across a fundamental aspect of their day-to-day experience to others.

‘Ah-ha, so yes, we get the spoon reference’, you say, ‘but why on earth were you singing a random old chart song?’

Well, I’m glad you asked. (Egads, I’ve been home-alone too long, I’m having a conversation with myself)!

There was a cartoon character on TV when I was young. Apparently he began in true comic format, but I was not aware of that until I looked him up online when one of my very good friends reminded me of the superhero’s existence just the other day. He is……(daaan daan daaaaaaan)…….The Tick!

Ever heard of him? In some ways he’s amusingly appropriate for Dys’ sufferers like meself seeing as he too has a taxed brain, (well, we have ‘brain fog’, but in my case it’s not too dissimilar at it’s worst!), he’s really strong, (okay, we’re not.. but emotionally and mentally we’re world champions just by basic necessity), and he has a tendency to fall over if his antenna are removed! Bwahaha. Love it! I have a constant battle with near-fainting and can’t find any sensible reason for it, so it might as well be antenna as anything else!

But most importantly of all, his battle cry is…….’SPOON’! (Bless ‘im). How very appropriate.

So yes, The Tick.

And it all becomes clear….my brain starts singing….

‘Tick….Tick…Tick….Tick…..SPOON!’

And yes, I found it hilariously funny at the time. I know… bless!

I find my chuckles where I can.

By the way, if you want to read Christine’s Spoon Theory here’s the link:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

And, (just in case you feel the urge to know), according to the internet, the song was my brain’s take on ‘Boom! Shake the Room’ by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince in 1993!

Bestest wishes to you all, and a big hello to all of my fellow Spoonies, x